Notes from the Trail ~ Give Me Silence

What a week. That is all I am going to say. If you read my previous post, then you know the emotionally charged week this has been and how I feel about the riots and the entire situation. It was a very personal post but also very raw. Writing it left me drained, and during these times I have found refuge where I feel most me: the trails. There is something very secluded that speaks to me. Unfortunately for me, but a good thing for most, suddenly everyone is hitting the trails. Even the less traveled ones. Ugh. But I try to ignore the people and just do my thing by going off-trail to find good quiet places to run, like the DNR trout stream area close to my house. With the gurgling water, the sound of the birds and all the green, it is pure heaven. By the way, I don’t recommend going off-trail unless you are familiar with the area. :)

Don’t ask me how many miles, my time, etc. has been because I haven’t even worn my Garmin to track my runs, because I keep forgetting to turn it on. But it is ok. It is very rare that I pay attention to that anyway. I am more of the “listen to my body” kind of person. It has been a great way to feel connected to nature and more centered.

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Now for my week:

  • Saturday: 2.5M trail run (according to the trail map) before a storm and lightning made its appearance.

  • Sunday: Rest day. Although I did gardening that felt like a Crossfit class. Carried 10 large bags of soil from my car to my garden beds, about 120 meters away, and it was quite a workout. I was feeling it that night and on Monday.

  • Monday: Low elevation trail run (Stockton Stream about 3.2 miles)

  • Tuesday: HIIT Training (28 minutes)

  • Wednesday: 3.5M trail run (I remembered to turn on the Runmeter app! Yeay!)

  • Thursday: Rest

  • Friday: 3M run/HIIT

And that was my week! Have a great weekend, friends! Stay safe!

You may find me joining one of these awesome link-ups: Friday with Fairytales & Fitness / Tuesday Topics/ Weekly Run Down / Runfessions / Friday Bliss / Nature Notes / Pictorial Tuesday / Sky Watch Friday / Friday Photo Journal

A Different Kind of #GlobalRunningDay

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Happy #GlobalRunning Day (GRD), friends. Today we celebrate the sport that motivates us to get up and get moving. We celebrate that we are blessed with movement and we cherish the gift that running is to our mind and soul too. And God knows, I need my soul to be refreshed after the past two weeks (in addition to the pandemic) which have me with a heavy heart.  This year GRD feels different.  The tension in the country palpable. The hurt— unimaginable. Living in Minnesota, the state feels like it is in a state of tension.  I live about 2 hours from Minneapolis, which makes this event feel so far away, yet so close.

For me, it feels so personal too. I am Hispanic and biracial— my mother is biracial. Her maternal side of the family was black. But you see, I do not look black, nor do I look white. People think I am middle eastern or Indian. Because of that, I have never felt like I fit in. I was made aware growing up, by both groups, that I do not fit in. And so, I did my own thing, not fitting in. I made peace with that in my mind. Because in my eyes, humans are humans, and I like to think that I respect their lives equally.  Which is why making myself watch the video of George Floyd being killed was so hard. As I watched, I saw this white man going on a power trip and subjugating a black man who was clearly not capable of fighting back. Watching George Floyd plead, the slowly start to go unconscious while this man was still on top of him, was horrifyingly numbing. This was clearly a man who thought he was superior to George Floyd. You could see in his face and his demeanor.  This man did not value George’s life. I cried. And then I got angry. It has been rollercoaster of emotions. But then I thought— this is nothing compared to what black people go through. 

And you see, I can say that because while I have black in me, I do not look black, therefore my experiences with racism have been different.  My white blood has allowed me to have a slight privilege in how society sees me. I do not have to live in fear to get shot or questioned simply because of my skin color.  And so how do I use that slight privilege? Any way I can. I have used social media (I think I have a few friends of Facebook who unfriended me), I have called elected officials, I have donated, I have talked to my husband and his kids— who are white— about white privilege and the true definition of that term. It has been a heavy week, and so when today arrived, all I wanted was one thing: to go where my heart is happiest, where nobody judges me and I can purge the feelings I am having: the trails.

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Whenever I want a trail that is not too technical where I can go into auto-pilot, I head to the Great River Bluffs State Park. The trail that I took starts in a native prairie area, then goes through a pine tree forest, before transitioning into a single track trail through the woods. It is beautiful and serene. Then it opens up at the top of the bluffs where you get a beautiful view of the Mississippi River. I took a bit of an off-trail route towards the middle of the run, but I needed that. And it was like a balm to my heavy heart.

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Outside it was hot, humid and muggy. Reminded me of summers in North Carolina. I ran my heart out for all the black people who have experienced oppression, racism, and death because of the color of the skin. I thought of my grandma, and the stories she told me about the racism she experienced. I ran on emotion. Pure and raw emotion. But by the time I got back to my car, sweaty from head to toe, I was calm again. The heaviness lifted, if only temporarily. I like to believe that this is a turning point for our nation when it comes to race relations. We will see what the future holds. For now, we take care of ourselves and our loved ones, continue pushing the gas pedal on this moment, pray that things will get better and let us continue to demand love. So, keep running, stay healthy and chin up! We are in this together, friends. Happy Global Running Day!